OK, I'm over DC

The trip has been fun and we found so many more things we wanted to do that wasn't on our original itinerary that we seriously considered extending our time in DC, but after dealing with crowds worse than Disney on New Year's Eve, 50 degree rainy weather and being nearly hit head-on by impatient drivers ignoring double yellow lines, I'm ready to go back to Florida, but I'm not quite ready to go home just yet. I'm thinking that we may sidetrack to Panama City Beach to celebrate New Year's. Margaritas on the beach in 70 degree weather is sounding much more enticing than staying here for more museums (and consequently more whining by the kids about boredom).

With that being said, I think I need to remember this experience to remind me why Russia (with its cold weather and crazy drivers) should never be a high bid for me as an FSO. Yes, I realize 50 degrees is "warm" to you crazy folk who live north if the Florida line, but at 50 degrees this Florida girl is ready to put on a parka. You can take the girl out of Florida, but you can't take Florida out of the girl.

I Could Learn to Love This Place

We made it to DC and because my internal alarm clock just won't accept that I'm on vacation, I write from a dark hotel room in Fairfax, VA with the cacophony of a snoring husband and slamming doors of the early bird family across the hall in the background.

We started the trip with a visit to Mount Vernon, which I really enjoyed. Before we left my family got together to do our annual gag gift exchange & one of the gifts was a Travelocity gnome that I stole from my brother and my brother's girlfriend stole again. But, since she is sweet & thought it would be funny, the gnome is now on loan to me for our trip. We haven't roamed alone in DC.

 

Yesterday we went to the Air & Space Museum then browsed a few rooms in the National Gallery and then headed to the Natural History museum. I was surprised to see the crowds at Natural History rival those of Disney on New Year's Eve! I thought this was supposed to be the off season up here. Oh well,  a good time was had by all and, God willing, we will have a chance to re-experience it as locals in the near future. Funny enough, I used the Parking Panda App to reserve a parking spot for the day for $2 (actually $12 but I used a $10 off discount code) and did not realize the spot was in the garage of the Holiday Inn Capitol where many OA candidates stay. Since Parking Panda only identified the garage as 500 C  Street, my garage choice was purely coincidental, since I based my reservation on price and proximity to Air & Space. As my hubby parked the car, I looked up and we landed directly across from several spaces marked reserved for DOS FSI. Maybe this was a sign of good things to come. :)

I did learn the value of good walking shoes up here, though, as my back and feet were screaming by dinnertime yesterday. After our outing on the National Mall we headed to a different mall in Tyson's corner to find me a new pair of shoes. I'm pretty sure my back & feet will thank me today as we conquer the National Zoo. We are enjoying our trip so much that we are considering extending our trip a few days.

DC Bound

Long before I decided to take the FSOT, we had a trip to Washington, D.C. planned for our Christmas vacation. It has been over 10 years since I've been up there and my husband & kids have never been there before. We are ALL counting down the days until we leave...10 more days. My husband is especially looking forward to the Air & Space museum. The kids are excited about the Natural History museum. And I'm anxious to scope out State Annex 44, where I intend to do my OA, should I be so lucky to receive an invite. I'm a visual person, so if I can see something it makes my dreams and goals seem more real. Oh and I'm also excited to see the National Zoo...I'm a total sucker for animals.

Of course, we are continuing the tradition of the road trip for our trek to DC this year. I'm skeptical that this year's trip will top last year's cross-country travels through Texas, Oklahoma and New Mexico, but I'm pretty sure we'll come home with more epic crazy stories than last year. I'm a little nervous about driving in DC, so I've finally convinced the family to give public transportation another shot, despite the painful recency of our July 4th 3-hour trolley ride through Gatlinburg. My daughter has been praying for snow on our trip and, since I value our safety and warmth over making snow angels (Floridians driving in snow doesn't bring thoughts of safety), I've been praying it doesn't.

Anywho, unless we take another unexpected diversion through 4 states, we'll be back in time for daughter and I to spend New Years Eve at Disney again (a place my husband refuses to consider stepping foot into during the summer and between Thanksgiving and January 10th). All in all, this is a trip that I'm really looking forward to and I'm hoping to return home with a greater sense of my dream being a reality. And hopefully a few short weeks after we return, I hope to be planning a return trip very soon. :)

5am Musings

I'm a sucker for Facebook quizzes...especially between the hours of 4am and 5am. If you haven't already figured it out, I'm a (very early) morning person. My typical day starts at 3am because my body for some reason can't seem to understand the concept of sleeping in... Oh how I miss the days of my youth when my mother told me that I was wasting my day when I slept past sunrise. The upside to this situation is that I now call my mom every morning at 6:30 on my way to the office and remind her that she's wasting her day away because my call sometimes catches her before her alarm goes off. The other perk is getting quiet time in the morning before the kids are up (and responsibility sets in) to check e-mail, surf Facebook, read the news, catch up on my DVR recordings, and do silly quizzes as they roll across my Facebook feed. This morning I took a quiz about my most dominant character trait. I was not surprised by the result and I think anyone who really knows me well would agree with it:

Your Most Dominant Character Trait is Ambition!

You are a true fighter who knows that getting anything done the right way absolutely needs motivation and drive. When you have a goal or set a plan for yourself, there is no stopping you. You are a strong-minded individual who can accomplish anything within a given period of time. You are very passionate when it comes to things you're excited about and this is what makes you so reliable and effective with anything you set out do.

 

 

In my opinion, this is probably the best character trait to have when you are pursuing a career in the Foreign Service. Most of my friends and family describe me as "determined"...isn't that just another way to say I have a lot of ambition? 

 

So, if you're a sucker for silly quizzes and want to play along, you can find the quiz here. You're welcome. :)

Tick Tock

The countdown to getting PNQ results from the QEP is still ticking. I honestly don't expect to hear anything until mid to late January at best. But, the wait is KILLING me. I've been occupying my time reading OA recaps on the FSOA Yahoo group in hopes of finding that one gem that would give me an edge should I be lucky enough to be invited to partake in the fun of the OA.

The Case Management exercise seems to be the bane of most OA participants'' existence. To be completely honest, assuming I get the OA invite, the SI (aka the Structured Interview) is my most feared portion of the day because of my inferior experience compared to what I imagine other candidates already have. This all goes back to my fear that I'm so under qualified for this dream. But what's the worse that could happen? I fail the OA and have to start all over again? I'm prepared for that. In fact, at this point, I don't even expect to make it through the PNQs, but as I did with the written portion of this testing/application process, I'm expecting the worst but hoping for the best...and while hoping for the best, I'm preparing for the OA... you know, just in case ;)

To keep me preoccupied while waiting for my results, I have made a binder full of study materials and have already started reviewing the SI materials so that I can start really digging deep into my "experience" and jot down stories that fit the 13-Ds. Although I tend to work much better under pressure, I am finding that being fully prepared ahead of time and not waiting until the last minute lowers my anxiety level and lets me put my best foot forward.

I Think I Just Had a Mini Heart-Attack

I've been laboring over my PNQs for awhile, but I have a very bad habit of procrastinating until the very last second to complete important tasks. I was down to only one PNQ to finish as of this morning. They aren't due for another week and 34 hours.

But, putting off finishing them has just been more stressful than I expected. Therefore, today I decided to finish the LAST question at lunch today. It took 7 rewrites to fit it into the character limit, but I FINALLY got it done.

I am excited to say that I have submitted my PNQs to the QEP as of 5 minutes ago. Once I hit the submit button, I think I had a mini heart attack. I feel relieved to have it done, but a little worried that I'm not going to make the cut because there are WAY more qualified people.

Now, I just wait...until probably January.

Analysis Paralysis

Sometimes the hardest part of doing something is just starting. The PNQs are proving to be my nemesis right now. BUT...the good news is that I started working on them over the weekend. After reading the questions, I became slightly paralyzed by the fear that I'm not good enough to be an FSO. My resume is not long or impressive and I did not do anything overly noteworthy in school. I would say I was about average. But then a good friend of mine reminded me that I DID do something remarkable. I managed to juggle a full-time job and finish law school while raising 2 small children... she challenged me to find someone else who has those kind of management skills. I guess she has a point. And her words were enough to get me off my ass and just START. So I'm about half done with the PNQs now. I hope to have them finished this weekend so that I can circulate them to my references for an outside perspective.

The Wait Ends!

I woke up this morning to the most wonderful e-mail I could have ever received. I passed the FSOT!

My score breakdown for those who care or are wondering is as folows:

Bio: 64.95
EE:  52.05
JK:  49.2
Total Multiple Choice: 166.2

Essay: 8

I am elated and EXTREMELY relieved today. I now have about 3 weeks to submit my Personal Narratives to the QEP. They are due no later than November 21st. After looking at the questions, I completely understand why they give you 3 weeks to submit them. It is a LOT of work in a small amount of space and the questions cover a variety of qualities that the Foreign Service values in a new Officer and will take a lot of racking my brain to pick the best examples to make me shine.

Wish me luck!

Counting Down

I know it's early to start thinking about test results, but I'm already getting anxious. Truthfully, I am thankful to have a job, but right now I'm mentally checked out because I truly hate the work that I do. When you hate the work you do, it is damn near impossible to give it your all. Being an attorney is really a customer service based job. And lately, my customers have been a real pain in the ass. I'm used to being lied to regularly by my clients, but as of late, the lying has tripled and it is starting to make me look bad in court. I don't like looking bad in front of the judge, so my tolerance level of putting up with bad behavior has decreased to about zero.

I know that my current job is not what I was meant to be doing, but it pays the bills and it is what I went to school for...so the nearing of results has me on edge...and, quite frankly, I'm just mentally preparing to learn that I failed and will have to try again next year. *Sigh* I guess you could say that I'm expecting the worst, but still hoping for the best.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

It has been 4 days since the FSOT and I am still digesting my experience. I was surprised at how quickly I worked through the test. As you know, I was worried about finishing in time due to my slow-ass typing caused by my disfunctional stroke-affected left hand.But, I was astonished that I finished almost an hour early! I found that I felt truly prepared for the test and I feel good about how I did. I was also very pleased with the essay topic. It was like the stars aligned for me because the essay concerned a topic that is very near and dear to my heart and I had no trouble coming up with examples on the fly to support my position.

Of course, even though I feel good about how I did, there is always the possibility that I failed miserably. But, if that does turn out to be the case, at least I can't say I didn't try and I can always try again next year.

So, for the next 3 weeks, I'll just be working my ass off at my current day job and waiting, while hoping and praying that my results come back with an invitation to submit PNQs.

Today is THE Day

I'm up and ready to head to Port Charlotte this morning. It feels like I have already been on this journey forever, but yet, I am merely just beginning.

Im pretty nervous this morning, but I"m sure I'll feel better in about 7 hours. I took the Study Guide Pracice test last night as a spot check of whether I've improved since starting this journey. I was surprised that I did very well, only missing a few questions (and the ones I missed were ones that I questioned my answer at the time I was doing the test). I've seen some Yahoo Group gripes about bugs in the test. Hopefully they aren't too bad and I can pull through them. I guess I'll find out in about 2.5 hours.

Ok, time to get my behind out the door. Have a great weekend everyone!

Unexpected Snafu

So, I was totally ready for the FSOT tomorrow morning.....and then I get a call from PearsonVue late this afternoon informing me that they cannot accommodate my test tomorrow morning and they need to reschedule my exam. The next available date is on October 11 at 8am in Port Charlotte...which is about a 2 hour drive away! I'm NOT happy, but you know what? I will just go with the flow. At least I'm a morning person, so the early start time won't bother me.

I look at this inconvenience as a test of my ability to be flexible and roll with the punches that I will likely face in the foreign service. It' a small price to pay for my dream career.

Good luck to all of my fellow test-takers in the coming days.

Good news! My accommodations request was granted and I will be taking the FSOT next Saturday morning at 8am in Sarasota. I'm so relieved that my request was approved, because no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get my typing up to a speed where I felt comfortable that I would be able to finish in enough time.

This weekend I have worked my way through some more practice questions and dedicated some time to working my way through the study outline posted in the Yahoo Group. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I've been stuck on the couch all weekend because I rolled my ankle doing Crossfit yesterday morning. I'm grateful for the forced study time because I've been crazy busy at work for the past several weeks and haven't gotten as much studying done as I had hoped for. I've got less than a week to be ready now. Here's hoping this week is productive.

Labor Day

Call me crazy, but I took the Labor Day weekend off from studying. I figured my kids needed to actually spend time with me, so I sacrificed the 3 days away from the office that could have been used for reading & and studying to go canoeing and hiking with the family. I may end up regretting this choice when I get my FSOT results back, but this is time I will never get back with my kids. They grow up so fast, you know? I can't believe my little girl is nearly a high-schooler...(with an attitude to match)!

When I announced to the family that I was going to pursue a career in the Foreign Service my daughter was less than thrilled to learn it meant moving away from our current location. She has been through so many moves over her life and adapted unbelievably well. Now that she has a solid group of friends here, she is sad to know that she may be uprooted yet again. But this past weekend, she  told me that she's now "OK" with whatever happens (and wherever we go) if I pass the test and make it into the service. This solidified my feelings that I am doing the right thing for the family.

This week, I will be back to studying. I am going to focus my efforts on the essay. I have always been a decent writer and usually score pretty well on essay exams, so I'm not overly concerned about this part of the test, but I don't want to fall into the trap of being too confident, so I figured I would spend some time working on practice essays just to be safe. Besides, I haven't had to write a timed essay since I took the Bar exam, so it can't hurt to practice. I'm most concerned with the time limit, especially knowing that my typing speed sucks, since it is essentially one-handed. So, I'm going to work on typing essays within the 30 minute timeframe, even though I am applying for extra time, because I would rather be able to do it like a normal person just in case something gets screwy with my accomodations request.

And So It Begins...

Well, today was the first day of my long journey to joining the Foreign Service. Registration for the October FSOT test dates opened at 11am EST (10am CST) and I am now scheduled for the Saturday, October 4, 2014 test date at 11:30am. Since I cannot afford to take time off from my current job, I was forced to choose a testing center in Sarasota (which is an approximately a 1.5 hour drive from my house), but since I'm an early riser, I'm ok with that date, time and location. I had the option of the following Saturday (Oct 11), but I chose the earlier date because I would rather get through it sooner rather than later. I work better under pressure, so I know the next month is going to be jam-packed full of studying (especially since I am very weak in World History/Geography and everything math related). To prepare I have started reading Don't Know Much About History and I have borrowed Cracking the GRE to beef up on my essay writing skills.

Last Friday I visited my Primary Care Physician and he agreed that testing accommodations are appropriate. He completed all necessary forms to request them, but forgot to sign the last page, so I will be making another trip to request his signature very soon. I am asking for 50% more time for the typing portions of the exam (mainly the essay) since my one-handed typing due to the stroke will not cut it in the current time allotted. I don't want any advantage over my fellow testers, but I want to make sure that my dysfunctional left hand will not hold me back from my dream job. I have compensated for the disability for nearly 5 years, but on a test as important as this, compensating is not enough. Accommodating is more appropriate...and my doctor agrees.

Good luck to all of my fellow October testers. May the odds be ever in your favor. :)

Self-Esteem Roller coaster

After realizing how little I know, I really started to panic about my ability to pass the written exam. So I really went nuts downloading apps, ordering study guides, and stalking the blogs of successful candidates. I have a tendency to obsess over something to the point of inducing anxiety. Today I hit the anxiety wall.

Perhaps it's the attorney (and possibly the chess player) in me, but I tend to think WAY ahead of my current position and, today, instead of freaking out about the written exam, I actually started freaking out about the next step, the PNQ submission to the QEP (with the assumption that I am going to pass the written test). The reason I flipped out is so stupid, really, because in my fit of anxiety I took a peek at a set of PNQ questions that are listed on the Yahoo FSOT Group (which is an excellent wealth of information, by the way). After reading through the questions, I panicked thinking that I'm not experienced enough or diverse enough to even have specific situations to write about that will help me make the cut.

But then I sat down with the determination to, at least, list specific situations I could write about for each question. I did this as a preliminary step to calm myself down and give myself a pep talk that I AM good enough to make the cut. After considering each question separately I was able to identify at least one, if not multiple exaples to use to answer each question. Doing this settled my mind enough to give me enough confidence that I am a good candidate. So I returned to chugging along with practice questions. I eventually did another series of practice questions and surprisingly did pretty well. (Oh, by the way, the DoS Career app in the Google Play store is pretty handy for some practice drills).

I may have just given up an entire Saturday to break this self-esteem barrier, but I actually feel like it will be totally worth it and that I have achieved a major personal accomplishment.

As a follow-up to this accomplishment, I must now accomplish cleaning the bathroom. Until my next freak out.... :)

The Beginning

The birth of this blog is the result of my own decision to stop being paralyzed...either by fear or by circumstance. When I was in law school, I assumed that everything would just fall right into place and I would be happy. After a massive stroke that nearly killed me I believe that I was blessed to be left on this earth to fulfill a purpose and I now find myself as a practicing criminal defense attorney who is completely miserable doing trial work. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the underlying work that I do (meeting with clients in jail or prison, educating them about the legal process, and helping them to triage their problems immediately is one of my favorite duties of the job), I just HATE trial. I've been petrified of taking cases to trial. Many things have factored into this unreasonable fear: inexperience, a lack of self-confidence because of my lingering stroke deficits,  the sheer uncertainty of trying to convince 6 people confined to an uncomfortable chair in a box (usually against their will) that my client is innocent (especially if I know they aren't). A crushing student debt load ($312,603.20 to be exact) and utter fear of failure in my current job causing me to find myself jobless also have factored into my misery.

As I write this, I realize that my circumstances may be uncomfortably familiar to others similarly situated in the practice of law or others looking to revamp their career. I also understand that each person, including myself, has a set of unique circumstances that led him or (in my case) her to seek out their purpose in life and pursue it with a determined passion. I hope to use this blog to tell my story of choosing to love the work that I do. Perhaps sharing my successes and failures will help myself and others learn from my mistakes and will garner constructive feedback from colleagues who have chosen to sail the waters of career content, instead of barely treading water in a J.O.B. (read as: "just over broke").

So what is it that I am setting my sights on in my new endeavor to achieve career contentment? The Consular track as a Foreign Service Officer (FSO). How ironic is it that I was just joking with my husband last week that if I could find a way to travel the world and get paid, I would quit my job tomorrow? We also have a running joke that if I could be a career student I would do it in a heartbeat. So, after much soul searching, researching, blog reading (thank you Digger and DiplomaticMom) and long talks about "what-ifs" with the husband, I have decided to register for the October 2014 FSOT.

It is my understanding that this test is an extremely difficult test to pass and that is just the beginning of an extremely competitive selection process. One of the challenges I am going to face at the outset is that I intend to request ADA accommodation for the test, since my left hand is still affected by the stroke damage and typing is not an easy task in a timed environment. (think one-handed typing an essay under time constraints without typos!) Pursuing this career change evokes an overwhelming fear of failure, so in my OCD way of assuaging my fear, I took the practice test to gauge where I stand if I didn't prep one bit for the test. On the first try 4 days ago, I was informed that I have a 17% chance of passing. Not good! Obviously not prepping is not an option. Not to be discouraged, I reviewed each and every answer (even the correct ones) to understand what went wrong and in the meantime, I have done some practice test questions on various other sites I can find. Today, I retook the practice exam (using a different e-mail address) and was informed that I have a 99% chance of passing. This was a great relief for 2 reasons. 1) It shows that I know enough to possibly pass the test and 2) it shows that the brain damage is not affecting my ability to retain new information, process it and utilize it again (in other words, my learning abilities remain unimpaired. SCORE!).

My goal for this blog is to keep track of my progress as I attempt to slay the intimidating giant of joining the elite of the federal government (and hopefully connect with some awesome people who are doing or have already done the same thing).