Self-Esteem Roller coaster

After realizing how little I know, I really started to panic about my ability to pass the written exam. So I really went nuts downloading apps, ordering study guides, and stalking the blogs of successful candidates. I have a tendency to obsess over something to the point of inducing anxiety. Today I hit the anxiety wall.

Perhaps it's the attorney (and possibly the chess player) in me, but I tend to think WAY ahead of my current position and, today, instead of freaking out about the written exam, I actually started freaking out about the next step, the PNQ submission to the QEP (with the assumption that I am going to pass the written test). The reason I flipped out is so stupid, really, because in my fit of anxiety I took a peek at a set of PNQ questions that are listed on the Yahoo FSOT Group (which is an excellent wealth of information, by the way). After reading through the questions, I panicked thinking that I'm not experienced enough or diverse enough to even have specific situations to write about that will help me make the cut.

But then I sat down with the determination to, at least, list specific situations I could write about for each question. I did this as a preliminary step to calm myself down and give myself a pep talk that I AM good enough to make the cut. After considering each question separately I was able to identify at least one, if not multiple exaples to use to answer each question. Doing this settled my mind enough to give me enough confidence that I am a good candidate. So I returned to chugging along with practice questions. I eventually did another series of practice questions and surprisingly did pretty well. (Oh, by the way, the DoS Career app in the Google Play store is pretty handy for some practice drills).

I may have just given up an entire Saturday to break this self-esteem barrier, but I actually feel like it will be totally worth it and that I have achieved a major personal accomplishment.

As a follow-up to this accomplishment, I must now accomplish cleaning the bathroom. Until my next freak out.... :)