Well, today was the first day of my long journey to joining the Foreign Service. Registration for the October FSOT test dates opened at 11am EST (10am CST) and I am now scheduled for the Saturday, October 4, 2014 test date at 11:30am. Since I cannot afford to take time off from my current job, I was forced to choose a testing center in Sarasota (which is an approximately a 1.5 hour drive from my house), but since I'm an early riser, I'm ok with that date, time and location. I had the option of the following Saturday (Oct 11), but I chose the earlier date because I would rather get through it sooner rather than later. I work better under pressure, so I know the next month is going to be jam-packed full of studying (especially since I am very weak in World History/Geography and everything math related). To prepare I have started reading Don't Know Much About History and I have borrowed Cracking the GRE to beef up on my essay writing skills.
Last Friday I visited my Primary Care Physician and he agreed that testing accommodations are appropriate. He completed all necessary forms to request them, but forgot to sign the last page, so I will be making another trip to request his signature very soon. I am asking for 50% more time for the typing portions of the exam (mainly the essay) since my one-handed typing due to the stroke will not cut it in the current time allotted. I don't want any advantage over my fellow testers, but I want to make sure that my dysfunctional left hand will not hold me back from my dream job. I have compensated for the disability for nearly 5 years, but on a test as important as this, compensating is not enough. Accommodating is more appropriate...and my doctor agrees.
Good luck to all of my fellow October testers. May the odds be ever in your favor. :)
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Self-Esteem Roller coaster
After realizing how little I know, I really started to panic about my ability to pass the written exam. So I really went nuts downloading apps, ordering study guides, and stalking the blogs of successful candidates. I have a tendency to obsess over something to the point of inducing anxiety. Today I hit the anxiety wall.
Perhaps it's the attorney (and possibly the chess player) in me, but I tend to think WAY ahead of my current position and, today, instead of freaking out about the written exam, I actually started freaking out about the next step, the PNQ submission to the QEP (with the assumption that I am going to pass the written test). The reason I flipped out is so stupid, really, because in my fit of anxiety I took a peek at a set of PNQ questions that are listed on the Yahoo FSOT Group (which is an excellent wealth of information, by the way). After reading through the questions, I panicked thinking that I'm not experienced enough or diverse enough to even have specific situations to write about that will help me make the cut.
But then I sat down with the determination to, at least, list specific situations I could write about for each question. I did this as a preliminary step to calm myself down and give myself a pep talk that I AM good enough to make the cut. After considering each question separately I was able to identify at least one, if not multiple exaples to use to answer each question. Doing this settled my mind enough to give me enough confidence that I am a good candidate. So I returned to chugging along with practice questions. I eventually did another series of practice questions and surprisingly did pretty well. (Oh, by the way, the DoS Career app in the Google Play store is pretty handy for some practice drills).
I may have just given up an entire Saturday to break this self-esteem barrier, but I actually feel like it will be totally worth it and that I have achieved a major personal accomplishment.
As a follow-up to this accomplishment, I must now accomplish cleaning the bathroom. Until my next freak out.... :)
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
The Beginning
The birth of this blog is the result of my own decision to stop being paralyzed...either by fear or by circumstance. When I was in law school, I assumed that everything would just fall right into place and I would be happy. After a massive stroke that nearly killed me I believe that I was blessed to be left on this earth to fulfill a purpose and I now find myself as a practicing criminal defense attorney who is completely miserable doing trial work. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the underlying work that I do (meeting with clients in jail or prison, educating them about the legal process, and helping them to triage their problems immediately is one of my favorite duties of the job), I just HATE trial. I've been petrified of taking cases to trial. Many things have factored into this unreasonable fear: inexperience, a lack of self-confidence because of my lingering stroke deficits, the sheer uncertainty of trying to convince 6 people confined to an uncomfortable chair in a box (usually against their will) that my client is innocent (especially if I know they aren't). A crushing student debt load ($312,603.20 to be exact) and utter fear of failure in my current job causing me to find myself jobless also have factored into my misery.
As I write this, I realize that my circumstances may be uncomfortably familiar to others similarly situated in the practice of law or others looking to revamp their career. I also understand that each person, including myself, has a set of unique circumstances that led him or (in my case) her to seek out their purpose in life and pursue it with a determined passion. I hope to use this blog to tell my story of choosing to love the work that I do. Perhaps sharing my successes and failures will help myself and others learn from my mistakes and will garner constructive feedback from colleagues who have chosen to sail the waters of career content, instead of barely treading water in a J.O.B. (read as: "just over broke").
So what is it that I am setting my sights on in my new endeavor to achieve career contentment? The Consular track as a Foreign Service Officer (FSO). How ironic is it that I was just joking with my husband last week that if I could find a way to travel the world and get paid, I would quit my job tomorrow? We also have a running joke that if I could be a career student I would do it in a heartbeat. So, after much soul searching, researching, blog reading (thank you Digger and DiplomaticMom) and long talks about "what-ifs" with the husband, I have decided to register for the October 2014 FSOT.
It is my understanding that this test is an extremely difficult test to pass and that is just the beginning of an extremely competitive selection process. One of the challenges I am going to face at the outset is that I intend to request ADA accommodation for the test, since my left hand is still affected by the stroke damage and typing is not an easy task in a timed environment. (think one-handed typing an essay under time constraints without typos!) Pursuing this career change evokes an overwhelming fear of failure, so in my OCD way of assuaging my fear, I took the practice test to gauge where I stand if I didn't prep one bit for the test. On the first try 4 days ago, I was informed that I have a 17% chance of passing. Not good! Obviously not prepping is not an option. Not to be discouraged, I reviewed each and every answer (even the correct ones) to understand what went wrong and in the meantime, I have done some practice test questions on various other sites I can find. Today, I retook the practice exam (using a different e-mail address) and was informed that I have a 99% chance of passing. This was a great relief for 2 reasons. 1) It shows that I know enough to possibly pass the test and 2) it shows that the brain damage is not affecting my ability to retain new information, process it and utilize it again (in other words, my learning abilities remain unimpaired. SCORE!).
My goal for this blog is to keep track of my progress as I attempt to slay the intimidating giant of joining the elite of the federal government (and hopefully connect with some awesome people who are doing or have already done the same thing).
As I write this, I realize that my circumstances may be uncomfortably familiar to others similarly situated in the practice of law or others looking to revamp their career. I also understand that each person, including myself, has a set of unique circumstances that led him or (in my case) her to seek out their purpose in life and pursue it with a determined passion. I hope to use this blog to tell my story of choosing to love the work that I do. Perhaps sharing my successes and failures will help myself and others learn from my mistakes and will garner constructive feedback from colleagues who have chosen to sail the waters of career content, instead of barely treading water in a J.O.B. (read as: "just over broke").
So what is it that I am setting my sights on in my new endeavor to achieve career contentment? The Consular track as a Foreign Service Officer (FSO). How ironic is it that I was just joking with my husband last week that if I could find a way to travel the world and get paid, I would quit my job tomorrow? We also have a running joke that if I could be a career student I would do it in a heartbeat. So, after much soul searching, researching, blog reading (thank you Digger and DiplomaticMom) and long talks about "what-ifs" with the husband, I have decided to register for the October 2014 FSOT.
It is my understanding that this test is an extremely difficult test to pass and that is just the beginning of an extremely competitive selection process. One of the challenges I am going to face at the outset is that I intend to request ADA accommodation for the test, since my left hand is still affected by the stroke damage and typing is not an easy task in a timed environment. (think one-handed typing an essay under time constraints without typos!) Pursuing this career change evokes an overwhelming fear of failure, so in my OCD way of assuaging my fear, I took the practice test to gauge where I stand if I didn't prep one bit for the test. On the first try 4 days ago, I was informed that I have a 17% chance of passing. Not good! Obviously not prepping is not an option. Not to be discouraged, I reviewed each and every answer (even the correct ones) to understand what went wrong and in the meantime, I have done some practice test questions on various other sites I can find. Today, I retook the practice exam (using a different e-mail address) and was informed that I have a 99% chance of passing. This was a great relief for 2 reasons. 1) It shows that I know enough to possibly pass the test and 2) it shows that the brain damage is not affecting my ability to retain new information, process it and utilize it again (in other words, my learning abilities remain unimpaired. SCORE!).
My goal for this blog is to keep track of my progress as I attempt to slay the intimidating giant of joining the elite of the federal government (and hopefully connect with some awesome people who are doing or have already done the same thing).
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